So if anyone needs a good art critique my sister nails it every time and can tell you everything you need to do to improve the image. It's really quite amazing. Her advice and 15 minutes of work revealed this image...if you flip it back and forth with the previous image you can see the improvement.
Yet another. This was less of an emulation and more of a master copy for educational purposes. Compare to this image Sparth published on his blog. Hopefully this study will help me to master this style more quickly and efficiently.